Sample 1: Set Piece Idea THE CAVE
I am by no means a professional writer of any kind, anyone who's read my previous blog knows that. But anyway. While I'm not doing movie reviews anymore, I still wanted to keep writing because I quite enjoy doing it. So I decided to make this new blog page where I'll post more original stuff and ideas for stories and try to get some critiquing or just give people an idea of the things that I like writing about. Feel free to tell me how good or bad it is, I actually want to improve and try to make some good stuff in the future, maybe?
So this first post is a sample from an original story I've been working on for a while now. It's going to be an adventure story with some fantasy elements. I still have a lot of work to put into it before it's...actually good, but this is kinda the basic idea of how it's gonna be. I definitely need to add more detail and get better at...everything...but it's just a sample so... yep.
-----------------------------------------------------SAMPLE--------------------------------------------------------
To the east lies an ocean covered in deep fog, a fog that never disappears. No one who values their life would ever venture into it. So our protagonist (named Yamato) heads into the seas. This felt too similar to how Yamato ended up on this island, to begin with (explained in previous chapters), but he continues, trying hard to ignore this fact. As if the ocean wasn't terrifying enough as it is, it's made even worse when you can barely see your own hands. As he continues down the foggy ocean, he begins to hear waves crashing against an object. As he draws near a cave begins to appear in his vision. The rocks that form the cave go up past the foggy sky and seem to stretch on and on. The opening of the cave is pretty small despite the size of the rest of it. Yamato fits his small boat into the opening. Inside the cave, the water continues like a small river guiding Yamato deeper inside. There are dimly lit lanterns on the walls of the cave guiding Yamato towards the inside. The river inside the cave leads to a closed door with carvings on it. It's a picture of two eyes with Japanese writing. It says "Look through yourself". After some thought, Yamato glances outside of his boat and sees his reflection in the water. Focusing his eyes on it, he sees something underneath the water. It's a gold lever, which he pulls up. The door slowly opens making a loud creaking noise. The room beyond the door is a giant circular room. The ceiling of the cave has a big hole in the center where the sky is exposed. The sky is incredibly clear and full of stars. It's one of the most beautiful sights Yamato's eyes have seen. Yamato looks down at the water to see many fish appear around the boat. The fish are a bright gold color and illuminate the room. As the boat reached the center of the room, a loud roar come from out of nowhere. The room started shaking and the water started to move violently. A large golden statue of a dragon head slowly made its way out of the water. The statue was so big, it could fit a warship inside its mouth. Once the statue stopped moving, Yamato started rowing towards it. He approached the mouth of the dragon and got off his boat onto the tongue of the dragon, tying the boat to one of the large teeth. Near the back of the throat were some stairs that led down. It was a spiral staircase with walls made of some kind of thick glass. As Yamato climbed down the golden stairs, he could see underneath the ocean. Lots of shining fish swam around the glass as he climbed down deeper under the sea. After some minutes he notices something in the distance. A city. A city under the ocean? Yes. A city under the ocean. Or least what remains of the city, because it looks like it's been abandoned for years. Yamato reached the end of the stairs to a large door. Opening the door slowly, he reveals a giant throne room with many pillars and a large red carpet. At the end of the carpet lies a lonely throne with a skeleton. The skeleton is wearing a crown and in his hand is a mirror. THE MIRROR (explained in previous chapters). Yamato slowly walks up to the skeleton and studies him. "It's been a while Yamato" the skeleton whispers. Yamato grabs his sword quickly in his shock. Yamato is able to get out a few words, "How do you know...". "...your name?" the skeleton cuts him off. "Do you not recognize me Yamato? I know it's been about 400 years, but I haven't changed that much have I?". Yamato stares in confusion. "I'm the youngest daughter of the Emperor, I look a little different because I haven't had a meal in a year or two." Yamato's jaw drops at the revelation received from the skeleton. "You know... I always had a crush on you Yamato, but I figured you would never go for a girl like me" the skeleton said while using both hands to cover its face. "What happened to you?" Yamato finally spoke out. "Well, I haven't had much of an appetite in the last 400 years". Yamato sighed while rubbing his eye in frustration. "Can I get a serious answer please?" he groaned. "Sorry, it's only been a few decades since I last spoke to anyone," the skeleton said softly. "I was cursed when I stole this mirror from my father all those years ago. I slowly lost most of my human qualities and slowly transformed into this skeleton. Every time I look into this mirror I still see my old self. The version of me that had skin, hair, lips, and eyes. I've been alive for all these years waiting for you to come for this mirror. Now that you're here you can end my curse". The skeleton lifted the mirror and stretched out her arm with the handle facing Yamato. "Please take this from me". Yamato slowly reached toward the handle of the mirror and grabbed it. He gently pulled the mirror from the skeletons grip tell she let go. As soon as her last finger released the mirror, she let out a horrifying screech that left a ringing in Yamato's ear. The room started to shake violently. The pillars in the throne room started to crack and the ceiling started leaking water. Yamato was still recovering from the screech and was slow to react to the destruction. He put the mirror in his bag and started running towards the exit. As he got closer to the exit he was suddenly tackled to the ground. It was a skeleton. Yamato looked back and saw that there were dozens more heading towards him in full sprint. He struggles to grab his sword while being grabbed by the skeleton that tackled him. Yamato puts his fingers inside the skeleton's nose cavity and yanks it towards him. The skeleton's head breaks off of the rest of its body. Yamato throws the head towards the incoming skeletons and knocks over a few of them. This gives him enough time to grab his sword and cut the skeleton loose from his body. Yamato gets up and runs towards the exit. As he left the throne room he could hear the sound of rushing water nearby and the skeletons splashing while they ran towards him. Yamato started sprinting up the spiral staircase as the room below began to flood even faster. As he climbed towards the surface he could see the city that was once there had completely collapsed. The water started to reach his feet as he stumbled on the stairs and the skeletons got closer to him. He tried to move as quickly as possible, but the water kept rising and slowing his pace down. By the time he was almost to the end, his body was almost completely underwater. He could see the surface now through the glass windows of the spiral staircase, but now his whole body was beneath the waters. The spiral staircase was also the support of the dragon head that Yamato first came in through, and the support had been broken. The dragon head statue began to sink as Yamato swam to the end of the spiral staircase. As he reached the exit of the staircase and was able to take a breath, a skeleton grabbed his leg and began to pull him back under the waters. His bony fingers sank into Yamato's skin and dragged him deeper into the waters. Yamato desperately tried to grab anything to keep himself from being dragged deeper into the collapsing structure. As certain doom was now in Yamato's future he quickly grabbed the mirror from his bag and pointed it in the direction of the skeleton that had his leg. The skeleton looked as shocked as a being with no skin on its face could look as it saw the image of what he once was 400 years ago. The skin, eyes, hair, lips it hadn't seen in ages. Yamato took this moment to rip the skeleton hand from his leg, leaving a multiple open wounds were the fingers were dug into. He fought through the pain and pushed himself off of the skeleton to get a boost and swim towards the collapsing exit of the stairs. He could see the exit as his boat was barely staying upright with all the debris falling around it. He used the last of his adrenaline rush to swim to the boat and cut the rope with his sword quickly while also swiping away at any remaining skeleton. The dragon's mouth was almost completely underwater now, but Yamato was able to row just below the teeth of the mouth and escape the giant sinking statue. He watched as the golden statue sunk below with the rest of the skeletons.
So this first post is a sample from an original story I've been working on for a while now. It's going to be an adventure story with some fantasy elements. I still have a lot of work to put into it before it's...actually good, but this is kinda the basic idea of how it's gonna be. I definitely need to add more detail and get better at...everything...but it's just a sample so... yep.
-----------------------------------------------------SAMPLE--------------------------------------------------------
To the east lies an ocean covered in deep fog, a fog that never disappears. No one who values their life would ever venture into it. So our protagonist (named Yamato) heads into the seas. This felt too similar to how Yamato ended up on this island, to begin with (explained in previous chapters), but he continues, trying hard to ignore this fact. As if the ocean wasn't terrifying enough as it is, it's made even worse when you can barely see your own hands. As he continues down the foggy ocean, he begins to hear waves crashing against an object. As he draws near a cave begins to appear in his vision. The rocks that form the cave go up past the foggy sky and seem to stretch on and on. The opening of the cave is pretty small despite the size of the rest of it. Yamato fits his small boat into the opening. Inside the cave, the water continues like a small river guiding Yamato deeper inside. There are dimly lit lanterns on the walls of the cave guiding Yamato towards the inside. The river inside the cave leads to a closed door with carvings on it. It's a picture of two eyes with Japanese writing. It says "Look through yourself". After some thought, Yamato glances outside of his boat and sees his reflection in the water. Focusing his eyes on it, he sees something underneath the water. It's a gold lever, which he pulls up. The door slowly opens making a loud creaking noise. The room beyond the door is a giant circular room. The ceiling of the cave has a big hole in the center where the sky is exposed. The sky is incredibly clear and full of stars. It's one of the most beautiful sights Yamato's eyes have seen. Yamato looks down at the water to see many fish appear around the boat. The fish are a bright gold color and illuminate the room. As the boat reached the center of the room, a loud roar come from out of nowhere. The room started shaking and the water started to move violently. A large golden statue of a dragon head slowly made its way out of the water. The statue was so big, it could fit a warship inside its mouth. Once the statue stopped moving, Yamato started rowing towards it. He approached the mouth of the dragon and got off his boat onto the tongue of the dragon, tying the boat to one of the large teeth. Near the back of the throat were some stairs that led down. It was a spiral staircase with walls made of some kind of thick glass. As Yamato climbed down the golden stairs, he could see underneath the ocean. Lots of shining fish swam around the glass as he climbed down deeper under the sea. After some minutes he notices something in the distance. A city. A city under the ocean? Yes. A city under the ocean. Or least what remains of the city, because it looks like it's been abandoned for years. Yamato reached the end of the stairs to a large door. Opening the door slowly, he reveals a giant throne room with many pillars and a large red carpet. At the end of the carpet lies a lonely throne with a skeleton. The skeleton is wearing a crown and in his hand is a mirror. THE MIRROR (explained in previous chapters). Yamato slowly walks up to the skeleton and studies him. "It's been a while Yamato" the skeleton whispers. Yamato grabs his sword quickly in his shock. Yamato is able to get out a few words, "How do you know...". "...your name?" the skeleton cuts him off. "Do you not recognize me Yamato? I know it's been about 400 years, but I haven't changed that much have I?". Yamato stares in confusion. "I'm the youngest daughter of the Emperor, I look a little different because I haven't had a meal in a year or two." Yamato's jaw drops at the revelation received from the skeleton. "You know... I always had a crush on you Yamato, but I figured you would never go for a girl like me" the skeleton said while using both hands to cover its face. "What happened to you?" Yamato finally spoke out. "Well, I haven't had much of an appetite in the last 400 years". Yamato sighed while rubbing his eye in frustration. "Can I get a serious answer please?" he groaned. "Sorry, it's only been a few decades since I last spoke to anyone," the skeleton said softly. "I was cursed when I stole this mirror from my father all those years ago. I slowly lost most of my human qualities and slowly transformed into this skeleton. Every time I look into this mirror I still see my old self. The version of me that had skin, hair, lips, and eyes. I've been alive for all these years waiting for you to come for this mirror. Now that you're here you can end my curse". The skeleton lifted the mirror and stretched out her arm with the handle facing Yamato. "Please take this from me". Yamato slowly reached toward the handle of the mirror and grabbed it. He gently pulled the mirror from the skeletons grip tell she let go. As soon as her last finger released the mirror, she let out a horrifying screech that left a ringing in Yamato's ear. The room started to shake violently. The pillars in the throne room started to crack and the ceiling started leaking water. Yamato was still recovering from the screech and was slow to react to the destruction. He put the mirror in his bag and started running towards the exit. As he got closer to the exit he was suddenly tackled to the ground. It was a skeleton. Yamato looked back and saw that there were dozens more heading towards him in full sprint. He struggles to grab his sword while being grabbed by the skeleton that tackled him. Yamato puts his fingers inside the skeleton's nose cavity and yanks it towards him. The skeleton's head breaks off of the rest of its body. Yamato throws the head towards the incoming skeletons and knocks over a few of them. This gives him enough time to grab his sword and cut the skeleton loose from his body. Yamato gets up and runs towards the exit. As he left the throne room he could hear the sound of rushing water nearby and the skeletons splashing while they ran towards him. Yamato started sprinting up the spiral staircase as the room below began to flood even faster. As he climbed towards the surface he could see the city that was once there had completely collapsed. The water started to reach his feet as he stumbled on the stairs and the skeletons got closer to him. He tried to move as quickly as possible, but the water kept rising and slowing his pace down. By the time he was almost to the end, his body was almost completely underwater. He could see the surface now through the glass windows of the spiral staircase, but now his whole body was beneath the waters. The spiral staircase was also the support of the dragon head that Yamato first came in through, and the support had been broken. The dragon head statue began to sink as Yamato swam to the end of the spiral staircase. As he reached the exit of the staircase and was able to take a breath, a skeleton grabbed his leg and began to pull him back under the waters. His bony fingers sank into Yamato's skin and dragged him deeper into the waters. Yamato desperately tried to grab anything to keep himself from being dragged deeper into the collapsing structure. As certain doom was now in Yamato's future he quickly grabbed the mirror from his bag and pointed it in the direction of the skeleton that had his leg. The skeleton looked as shocked as a being with no skin on its face could look as it saw the image of what he once was 400 years ago. The skin, eyes, hair, lips it hadn't seen in ages. Yamato took this moment to rip the skeleton hand from his leg, leaving a multiple open wounds were the fingers were dug into. He fought through the pain and pushed himself off of the skeleton to get a boost and swim towards the collapsing exit of the stairs. He could see the exit as his boat was barely staying upright with all the debris falling around it. He used the last of his adrenaline rush to swim to the boat and cut the rope with his sword quickly while also swiping away at any remaining skeleton. The dragon's mouth was almost completely underwater now, but Yamato was able to row just below the teeth of the mouth and escape the giant sinking statue. He watched as the golden statue sunk below with the rest of the skeletons.
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